Sunday, May 31, 2009

Rehab Update

Lord, I hate rehab. I know it IS a necessary evil and it WILL help me. Doesn't mean I have to like it though! I am now TWO days past my last session and I am in SO much pain. Between the pain of using all of my hip and pelvic muscles to move the freakin left leg while it is firmly encased in an air immobilizer (that goes from upper thing to ankle. Keep in mind I injured my back and pelvis a year ago and they still aren't right) to the burning, itching fire pain shooting down the left leg, (Oh, and did I mention the muscle spasms in BOTH legs), I told my husband it would be less painful to amputate the left leg without anesthesia.
Sigh. Seriously, rehab is coming along. As long as I wear the air brace I can kinda shuffle around the gym all the while holding onto my walker with a death grip so strong that my palms have red marks from the handles for a half hour after we stop. I really have to pay attention to what I'm doing (duh). I swing my left hip to move the foot forward, then have to bring the foot back to put it down. Then move the right foot. I've done this looking down every time because I can't tell where the left foot in placing. Well, last time my therapist wanted my head up.
Huh?? Well then how do I know where my left foot is coming down? So, the head went up, the grips on the walker increased and I was absolutely paranoid about falling. I also noted that the therapist increased the tightness of the hold he had on the gait belt. Perfect. So, I swung the left leg out, put it down, but had no idea where it was. When I went to move the right foot I realized the left foot was too far forward. Well, that was awkward. Eventually, I got to the point I was able to swing the left out and bring it back far enough that I was taking tiny steps. At least I didn't put the left foot on top of the right (Which I've done and almost ended up on my butt). Took forever to make the walk around the gym, but I did it.
It's such an adjustment to have to think about every step of performing an act that used to be totally natural. I mean how many folks THINK about the process of walking after age 3?
I keep telling myself I'll "get there". Can anyone tell me where "there" is?


Lazy Julie said...

I think THERE is when you can walk with whatever assistance you need without that gripping fear. I think.

JC said...

I look down to step ... unless I'm at home ... I fear falling all the time. Just the new me.

I hope your pain goes away soon. Rehab will help you but it is so painful .... memories ..