Saturday, May 02, 2009
It could be worse
The day is done, hubby is on his way back home, and I am completely exhausted. Most of the exhaustion is emotional I'm sure. Coming face to face with your limitations, especially the one's you've been trying so hard to hide and overcome, is painful. Thankfully my vision continues to improve which makes lip reading A LOT easier! Hence my communicating with the staff here is getting much easier. It was a real challenge while I was in the first hospital. I had to close my eye to try and focus on them to understand. Even wearing the cochlear implants (but their lack of effectiveness is a whole other saga). Now I can identify people with the right eye and focus. The clarity still isn't what it was, but time will tell if it will come back. I'm still on high dose oral steroids (and have an extra 30 pounds to prove it). When I get out of here I'll rest for a week, see the Opthomologist, Neurologist and head to UCLA for more treatment. I'm working on trying to set a realistic goal for myself. Yet to be determined. Right now I honestly think my goal is simply to keep my spirits up. I'm also having quite a bit of pain tonight in my back and left leg. Simply other things that make getting through all of this a challenge. I look around and honestly try to focus on the fact that it COULD be worse. This WILL pass and I am determined to come out ht other side stronger for this. However, right at this minute......all I want to do is have a good cry.