Friday, May 01, 2009
Something to celebrate!
I am so pleasantly shocked I can't stand it. (It's not rehab, it still sucks and as each moment passes I find out how many more limitations I have which is really hard to take). What I AM excited about is the Physiatrist treating me here in Rehab is VERY supportive about me using Dr. Rhodes' machine! He actually wrote an order for me to use it starting tonight and I am hooked up and the machine is turned on as I type. I also sent Dr. Rhodes an email requesting more protocols and changes. I KNOW his machine works and if he can get me pain free again that's enough. I found out today some ways to adapt to things I had to have help doing. With the use of gadgets I can now put my own socks and shoes on again, button my shirts and have learned a safer way to get from bed to chair. I'm still frustrated about being here. It's depressing. I never thought I'd end up a patient at a place like this. I try to stay focused by looking around me and saying to myself that it could be worse. However, at 46, it shouldn't be this bad. So, I'm having a tough time balancing the thoughts and feelings I have. I go from being so damn angry about this disease to being guilty that I don't feel I'm being a good wife to my husband. He's wonderful. He's so supportive, and the outpouring of love and support we both have received from our family, friends and Church has been nothing short of amazing. I know I'm so incredibly blessed, but right now, I'm simply incredibly angry.