Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Missing my hubby
There are certain voids we all have in our lives that simply can't be filled. Not by staying busy, not by friends, not by jobs. Mark leaves such a void every week when he leaves. Doesn't matter how busy I try to stay (not that I can do much in the bloody chair. I still can't figure out how wheelchair companies get away with calling a chair that weighs 35 freaking pounds "lightweight". No one is a chair can lift that. Therefore, your housebound). My friends are absolutely wonderful. They focus on coming over when Mark is gone so I rarely spend an evening alone. I love them even more for that. However, there's still nothing like having Mark home. Even when he's in the other room watching whatever sporting event is on at the time, just knowing he's here makes me feel so much more secure. It has nothing to do with independence. I'm still independent, well as independent as the chair will allow me to be. It's about emotional security. The type you can only have in a loving stable relationship where you really are equal partners. Partners who put each other first. I miss my partner when he's gone. You'd think with him being gone 3 days every week I'd get used to it. Nope.