Monday, September 22, 2008

Defining who I am.

Needless to say the past few days have been quite an adjustment. For both my husband and myself. He left this afternoon for business and won't return until Thursday evening. I SO did not want him to go. Partly because I'll just plain miss him, partly because I'll be on my own, in a chair for the first time. Fortunately, I can stand with the chair behind me and function in the kitchen. I'm wobbly, but at least the chair is behind me if I loose my balance. I refuse to relinquish my independence. I WILL continue to do everything I did before. My identity is NOT the chair. I'm still ME. That hasn't and won't change. I also refuse to get caught up in the "poor me" cycle. YES, this SUCKS. So what. What is, IS. I have no choice but to accept and more on. Hoping that this is temporary and I'll be on my feet again soon. Meanwhile, I continue to take my meds. and use the machine. I think that keeping a positive mindset is the single most important thing I can do. Often it is the most difficult. I think adjusting up on my meds will continue to help me with that. Internally, I'm the same me. Nothing is going to change that. Chair or no chair. MS or no MS. I'm very blessed to have a wonderful support group of friends and family. They help keep me balanced and my perspective rational. They also help me be me. They don't see the chair, the walker or the cane. They see ME.

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