Thursday, October 02, 2008
TWF and staying focused
One of the most frustrating aspects of MS for me is the Train Wreck Fatigue. It doesn't take much to completely knock me on my kiester for a day or two. I wouldn't have thought anything I did yesterday was too much, but apparently it was. It seems it takes less and less physical exertion to put me completely down for a day. The only physical activity I did yesterday was wheel myself around the house (OK, I admit THAT is physical activity) and fight to get the chair in and out of the car for the support group meeting last night. I got up at 6 this morning, ran my treatments. Dozed while I ran them then took a 3 hour nap when they were finished. It's only 2:30 in the afternoon, yet I could easily go to bed for the day. THAT frustrates me. While I strive to concentrate on what I CAN do, I miss the things I used to do and took for granted. Things like spending the day window shopping in the mall. No way I could do that now. Even with someone pushing the chair I simply don't have the energy anymore. I am still very hopefully I will be able to return to work. I NEED to work on a psychological level. Although I know returning to work is going to be a battle on two fronts. My fatigue level with activity and if my employer will allow me back in a chair. Time will tell. Meanwhile it's my job to do MY part. Keeping focused, doing my treatments, taking my meds and not allowing myself to feel sorry for ME. I focus on the fact that things can ALWAYS be worse. I couldn't imagine trying to deal with MS without my husband, family, friends and support group. Not to mention my MD.