Tuesday, October 07, 2008
The Mindset...and other MS Blogs
My mindset is better today. No point in being frustrated. Besides, when I allow the stress to get to me I'm the one who pays for it. Literally. Like today. I woke up, did my treatments, wheeled to the recliner then slept from 9 to 3. Not counting phone interruptions which were blessedly short and I just went right back to sleep. Called TWF (Train Wreck Fatigue), brought on by allowing myself to get upset over events in which I have no control over. (Like the correspondence course RN's for the insurance company who denied my MS claim). One of the hardest things for ME personally to deal with is the fact that I can't allow myself to get the teeniest upset over ANYTHING. If I do, I pay for it. Which means I have to keep my emotions under such control I almost have to be a robot. For me and my personality, not possible. I have the type of personality that it takes A LOT for me to have an emotional meltdown. When I do, it's done and over. In the old days BFMS (Before MS), it was easy. I'd get angry, express it and it was over and done. Now MS kicks my kiester if I get stressed, let alone emotionally upset. MS is starting to get entirely too much control over my life. I don't like it, but I honestly don't know how to get control back. If it's even possible. I follow several other MS blogs. Each person's journey with MS is so different. No wonder some of us went years before we got the correct diagnosis. ALL of the other bloggers are pretty darn brave. Some are undergoing treatments that I won't do. They all seem to have a great sense of humor and while they too have bad days they seem to manage to keep it all balanced. Something that I struggle with. Of course, each of us have been affected differently by the disease. Of the blogs I follow, I believe I'm the only one in a chair. I really enjoy following their blogs. The blog world become a huge support group. It's actually pretty amazing. So, I got through yet another day. Another step forward on the journey. I just wish the journey wasn't so challenging right now.