Tuesday, April 07, 2009

One mosr dose.

One more dose of steroids tomorrow than it's done. Then we wait to see what comes back and what new symptoms are permanent. I have the wonderful steroid insomnia with the head ache that feels like Ricky Ricardo is playing his bongo's against my brain. There isn't any amount of ibuprofen that will get rid of that. Add the gastritis and yep, misery. Of course this is the only place I complain, I refuse to make the people in my life listen to me Bit&^ and moan. I save it for you guys. After all, you guys GET IT. You understand exactly how I feel. Right now I'm struggling with watching my independence being chipped away. It as if some mad sculptor has made it his life's purpose to chip away at it until it's gone. Lying at his feet in shattered pieces. It's time to get rid of my jeep. It's too hard for me to get in and out of and impossible for me to life my chair into it. So, exploring my choices I've decided on either a Toyota van or a Ford flex. Any thoughts? I think the van is best and could possibly be converted if necessary. I love the Flex though. So, we;ll see. There's also the matter of what I owe on the Jeep. Right now I'm completely housebound when Mark isn't here. It sucks. I have this beautiful house that is beginning to feel like a beautiful prison. Mark doesn't understand, although he sure tries. I supposed anyone that works see's staying home all the time as a wondrous thing. Personally, I'd love to be working and complaining I'm not home enough. Seems we're never happy are we? Well, last dose of steroids tomorrow. Thankfully I've been alone with no one to bare my teeth at during the worst of the mood swings. By Friday I should be back to my normal personality and not sleep deprived!


MS. ME said...

Yeah - last day!!! What kind of Jeep? I'm a Wrangler gal and it's a standard so there's been times I've thought I should trade it in but I'm not there yet! I've read some good stuff about the Flex but I don't know much about it. Good luck with the search!!

Webster said...

For me, I can stay at home for weeks and not be bothered, but if it's a situation where I don't have a choice to go someplace or not - I suddenly feel just a little helpless.

I have no suggestion re: the right vehicle for you - but you're thinking in the right direction that will give you back your independence. Best of luck.