Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A funny thing happened on the way to middle age....

One day your 18, graduating high school and you have your entire life before you. Your head is filled with all the wonderful things your going to see and do. Your going to change the world! After all, the generations who came before you OBVIOUSLY had no idea what they were doing or the world wouldn't be so screwed up! YOUR going fix all that! Time goes by, you start a job or college. You celebrate a birthday or two. Have your heart broken, find REAL love. Perhaps have your heart REALLY broken. Experience loss, get married. Have babies (and with babies comes the first REAL taste of fear), lose a job. Get another. Through it all we are undergoing a constant process of change and growth. We go from "knowing it all at 18 and boy, are my parents stupid" to realizing that we really don't know a heck of a lot at 40! At 45 you start wondering WHY? When your parents were 45 THEY seemed to have it all together and had the answers. You lok at yourself and realize that you don't. You look at your life and wonder, "Isn't it SUPPOSED to be getting easier by now"?!? That's when I take a deep breath a re-evaluate. The heck with MS. I'm not even THINKING of MS at this point. I'm re-evaluating my LIFE. Refocusing so I can get back on what ever track I've wobbled off of. Usually, I find the track I've "wobbled" off of is the JOY track. Come on, you remember that one. The JOY track! The one that your on when you have such a belly laugh that you rush to the bathroom in order to avoid peeing in your pants! Think back now. Has it been that long?! (Looks like I'm not the only one who needs to do the occasional re-evaluating)! My son re-introduced me to the "JOY track" during a phone call yesterday. My son and his wife are expecting their first child in early February next year. My son is in his mid 20's and a pretty level headed man if I do so so myself. (I'm awfully proud of the man he has become). Anyway, I answer the phone and am greeted with, "This grandchild of your is getting pretty expensive". No, Hi Mom how you doin? Nope, right into the meat of what was on his mind. LOL He was completely serious and had called his mom for emotional support. Me being the wonderfully supportive mom I am, immediately started laughing, stating, "Welcome to the next 18 or so years". Of course at the same time my mind went back to the days when it was his father and I trying to make ends meet with one baby and another on the way. Trying to make ends meet and figuring out how to make a dollar stretch. I told my son that while he may be a bit nervous now, everything WILL be OK. I also told him to enjoy this time, as it will go by so fast. I shared stories with him during that call of his father and I struggling to make ends meet. Yet, I told him, THOSE were the BEST times. At the end of the conversation, he was more relaxed and laughing. I hung up the phone, lost in my own thoughts. Remembering how wonderful, crazy, stress filled and love filled my life has been through the years. Now, I am having the wonderful opportunity to watch my son experience the same experiences I had. I get to watch, laugh and reassure and enjoy. I realized that a funny thing happened on the way to middle age.......I've REALLY had a great life. One, God willing, I'll continue to enjoy for many, many years.

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